Declarations!

In 35 years I've never once received a true declaration of love from a guy, how sad is that?!

I'm sure I have other things to say about declarations, but for now ... blargh blargh blarghity blargh, I said a'blargh blargh blarghity blargh!

Life

I haven't yet figured out how to come to terms with 'not getting' some of those things 'everyone is promised at birth' ... I mean, if anyone can tell me how to be ok without being loved (no, I don't mean my immediate family and friends), or how to be ok without becoming a parent (a mother) ... especially when it's pretty much all you've dreamt of for as long as you can remember ... well you tell me...how the fuck do you come to terms with that?! 

New Years Eve

A night folks really build up to be "something" leaving many folks feeling lame for the lack of something (or someone with whom they could do something) to do! 

While I was incited to a party at a friends tonight, he's really the only one there I would know so I feel totally awkward going...haven't fully decided on what I'm doing, but it looks like a game night with the folks and potentially me aunt and uncle who live next door to the folks! 

Whatever I do ... Happy New Year to all!

New Xmas Tradition

Two years in a row makes it a new tradition, right?! RIGHT!!! My mom and I now have a tradition of getting our nails did on Christmas Eve!  :o)

Back to the Future Query

Now I realize that, as time travel isn't actual possible, that things within this movie (trilogy) would need to be made up. I even like the whole time space continuum paradoxical'ness of the idea that you can't/shouldn't interact with your former (or future) self for fear of "screwing" things up. However, I do question the fact that as Doc Brown is getting ready to travel - at the beginning of the film, just after Einstein's successful travel - and we know that the Doc intends on traveling into the future, that Marty says "look me up" and the Doc agrees to do so ... but then, throughout the rest of the film(s), interaction with "oneself" and ones loved ones etc...is a big no no.

Food for thought.

Out On A Limb

Well, I did it. I walked all the way out on that limb and told him how I really felt. End result - a bit of pain, and the ability to truly move on. "Hashtag"YourLoss (even if it feels like mine).

Do you want to know the "funniest" part about doing this? His claim that he "never knew." All the texting, emails, snail mail etc...and he never knew...???!!! Like bloody hell he didn't know, what a ruddy lie. It's better to simply admit to knowing than to say "you never knew." Gah! 

He also said I should take him off of the pedestal I've got him on - which: 

a.) is not for him to say "where" I place him, and
b.) just because I love him does not mean I've got him on a pedestal, because in all honesty, I do not! I do not think he is perfect ... but that doesn't stop me from loving him.

Oiy!

At any rate, I finally went all the way and really told him...and he's now told me he does not feel that way about me, in those words ... they don't feel great, but at least I don't have to wonder any longer.

Unrequited love sucks.

I'd also like to mention that in the past month he's called me "kid" and "kiddo" more than once...and he's almost 6 years my junior...WTF?!

That is all.

Christmasyness!

It seems that every year Christmas arrives faster than the year before … I'm happy to say though, that I've already set up my tree (the largest one I've ever had, and in the smallest apartment I've ever had … and the only time I've ever had a fake tree), decorated my apartment, baked some cookies with Mom and helped her put out her Santa collection, and helped Dad put up the outdoor lights!

I've gotten most of my Christmas shopping done - and my sister and her husbands gifts wrapped and on their way to Colorado - having had a few fun shopping excursions with my Mum.

Works Christmas party is next week, I'm having a Cookie Swap/House Warming/Game Night party this weekend, and have an Ugly Sweater Party to go to next week. 

Seeing a college production of A Christmas Carol tonight with a friend (and seeing a few friends who are in it). Possibly seeing another friend (or two) sing in Holiday Concerts on the 19th and 22nd.

I'll be cooking Christmas Dinner for me and my folks on Christmas Day - and trying my hand at a dish I've never made … and then going to visit my bro and his family (with the 'rents) on the 26th for a few days.

Not yet sure what I'll be doing - if anything - on New Years Eve … but that's a fairly festive bit of holiday cheer already in the works.

Ahhh…Christmas…if only we didn't have to deal with the snow (yet).  :)

She might be fake (cause I'm not allowed to have a real one in this apartment) but she's pretty!

Um, yes!!! Two of my favorite things…Books and Penguins!

Three Things For 2015

There are three things I want to accomplish in 2015 - accomplish or at least make significant progress in - and they are:

1.) to learn Spanish
2.) to actually be able to play my guitar(s)

3.) I'm also determined to lose 20+ pounds this year (actually hoping for 30-40)! 

Now to find a Spanish tutor and a guitar teacher!

Aunt Niece Date to the Theatre

On November 29th, I was blessed with the ability to take my beautiful 7 year old niece to see the  of THE SECRET GARDEN at my theatre! It was our first Aunt/Niece Date, of many I hope, and it was great!!!

Though I had to do a little explaining of the story line to her at intermission, she followed the story well, and enjoyed it. 

When we got home afterwards she wanted to write a play ... yes!  :o)

It was also great to just be the two of us for a little while, to sit and talk and giggle and just be us ... without worrying about anything other than hanging out with my niece. She's too stinking cute! Love her ... and the fact that I was able to take her out.

Next ...  an Aunt/Niece #2 Date ... !!!