A Baby...?

Some days, as I get closer and closer to becoming a 40 year old woman (ok, so I've got 4 years ... but they'll go by in the blink of an eye, just like the last 6 have done since becoming a 30 year old woman), I think that it's highly likely that the only way I will ever get to have a baby that shares my DNA, is if I were to try AI.

I seem to make men run in the opposite direction ... or do nothing more than become a friend. And I am forever wanting someone who never wants me back.

But I digress ... I have always always always always wanted to be a mother. And no, for anyone who might actually read this, I'm not against adoption. Adoption, however, takes money and I am afraid that I don't make a good enough wage to be granted the right to adopt (at least I'm pretty darn sure I don't). Not that I couldn't afford a kid, who knows if I could, but with what I make I am 99.9999999% sure no agency would say "yes."

Things that negate my thoughts that this would be a good idea:

1. Money. My current income barely supports me, how could it ever support me and a kid?
2. Living situation. Currently, I live in a one-bedroom apartment which could accommodate a crib, but once the kid was out of the crib I'd be S.O.L.
3. Day-care. Again I refer to my income to say that I could NEVER afford day-care ... hmmm, would my folks (at least Mom) retire to be Grandma-Day-Care? (I'm pretty sure that would be a YES, but I can't bank on it ...)
4. Christmas (and other holidays) and birthdays ... how on earth would I afford them?
5. Vacations to broaden my child's horizons - as my folks did for me when growing up ... how would I ever do that?
6. College ... oiy!
7. Siblings for this child?
8. Actually finding a life partner ... once you have a kid I imagine it would become even harder than it is right now.

And yet, with all of these "negatives", I still think I might want to do it...?!